Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Not-So-Fresh New Releases #6

by Lani

This summer quite a few not-so-fresh films hit the theaters. Last weekend alone brought the openings of Spy Kids 4 and Final Destination 5, plus remakes of Fright Night and Conan the Barbarian.
Even film critics are avoiding theaters - Ebert Presents At the Movies is showing old Sneak Previews footage all month, rather than reviewing the current crop of summer movies. It seemed the time was ripe for another installment of my not-so-fresh series, otherwise known as "watch this, not that." So, I've once again chosen three of the worst-reviewed movies currently in theaters and offered some alternative viewing options.

  • This film, in the tradition of Snakes on a Plane, has a title that says it all. Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford star as men of the Old West who must rally their town to fight against invaders from space. But we all know that Ford first tangled with aliens as Han Solo in the original Star Wars trilogy. And since you already know this, then I shouldn't need to tell you to just watch Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, or Return of the Jedi instead.
  • If you are intrigued by the idea of a fun sci-fi/western combo, try Back to the Future Part III (1990) in which Marty McFly travels back in time to Hill Valley of 1885 to save the life of his old friend Doc Brown.
  • Alien invasion movies have been almost as popular as super heroes movies this summer and Super 8, which came out in June, is definitely the best of the bunch. Check your local theaters, it is still playing on some screens.

  • In The Change-Up bachelor Ryan Reynolds and family man Jason Bateman make a wish to switch lives while urinating in a (magical?) fountain; when they wake up the next day and find that they've switched bodies, blah blah...you know what happens in a body-switch movie. This one seems particularly unappealing when, in the trailer alone, we are treated to the sight of three of the lead actors (Reynolds, Bateman, and Leslie Mann, who plays Bateman's wife) going to the bathroom. If that is the "good stuff" that's meant to pique my interest and get me to the theater, I'm not anxious to see what didn't make the cut. Films about two characters switching bodies go back at least to 1940's Turnabout, about a bickering husband and wife. And the last thirty years have seen a glut of child/parent switches, including several versions of Freaky Friday.
  • I prefer variations on the simple body-switch concept, preferably ones involving millionaires since they tend to have nicer houses. All of Me (1984) could be called a "body-sharing" comedy since the spirit of dying millionaire Lily Tomlin is accidentally transported into the body of her lawyer, Steve Martin.
  • Heaven Can Wait (1978) is another good film about a soul in a new body; this time it's the spirit of pro-athlete Warren Beatty inhabiting the body of an aging millionaire.
  • Being John Malkovich (1999) offers a fresh take on the idea of walking in another man's shoes by having many characters literally inhabit the body of movie-star (and likely millionaire) John Malkovich.

  • I'm not sure why 2011 was deemed the optimum moment to bring back the Smurfs, but obviously someone thought it was. The cartoons were certainly not masterpieces, but I can admit that I enjoyed watching those little blue guys in the magical world of Smurf Village. If you feel like reminiscing, full episodes are available to watch on the WB website. This film, rather than sticking to the village we all remember, transplants the Smurfs to modern day New York City where they meet up with a young married couple (Neil Patrick Harris and Jayma Mays). The ensuing subplot about the couple's marital problems and pregnancy-related anxiety doesn't even seem to belong in a movie for kids. If you are trying to entertain your kids, or yourself, surely you can do better.
  • Ratatouille (2007) about Remy, a rat who dreams of being a great chef in Paris, is a delightful film about a little outsider in a big world.
  • Enchanted (2007) is, like The Smurfs, about someone from a fantasy world transported to NYC and the culture-shock which follows, in this case it's fairy-tale princess Giselle played by Amy Adams.
  • And going back even further into the Disney vault, you'll find The Gnome-Mobile (1967) in which two children and their grandfather help some lost gnomes find their tribe.

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